Here are some of the questions you will need to ask yourself:
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Do I want to say goodbye at my home, at the vet’s office or somewhere else?
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Do I want to be there? Will other family members, friends or animals be there?
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Would I like a ceremony or any special arrangements before, during or after euthanasia?
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Do I want my pet to be buried or cremated?
These are all important questions, and it’s worth giving them some thought. For some people, HOW they say goodbye may not impact them greatly. For others, this moment will remain crystal clear in their hearts and minds for the rest of lives.
If it feels appropriate, I strongly recommend asking your veterinarian if he or she will come to your home. It saves you and your critter the stress of going to the vet’s office, something that can be difficult for your animal under the best of circumstances. Your pet was probably always most comfortable and relaxed in your own home, anyway.
I know it’s hard for some people to think about being by their animal’s side when they leave us – when they die. If at all possible, I would encourage you and your family – including any other critters - to spend those last few moments with your beloved pet together. If you can’t, that’s ok, too. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.
I lost my first dog, Penny, in 1988, and I couldn’t bring myself to be with her when she left me. I deeply regretted that decision, and I made a promise that when my animals and I came to the end of our time together I would ALWAYS be there.
Whether you decide to have the euthanasia at home or at your veterinarian’s office, there are some things you may want to do to help create a loving environment. Lighting candles and playing soft music may be soothing. Having your pet’s favorite toys or blankets around may be a comfort to them. Friends and family may want to share the many special memories they have of your dear animal companion. You may even invite a spiritual advisor to attend and perhaps perform a sacred ceremony, if that is something that feels right for you.
The last decision you need to make will be about your pet’s remains. You may want to leave that in the hands of your vet, who can discuss the options with you. If you prefer to handle that yourself, you can decide if you want your animal buried in a cemetery or cremated, with the ashes returned to you. If you want to bury your pet on your property you should check with the appropriate local authorities to see if this is allowed.
If you have the opportunity, I advise checking into these options ahead of time. You may want to visit the cemetery or cremation facility in advance, so you will know exactly what needs to be done. If you lose your animal unexpectedly, you won’t have had time to do this in advance, so you may want to ask a friend or family member for help.
My veterinarian came to my home when it was time to say goodbye to Jake. I have endured many sorrowful experiences over the years, but no matter how long I live losing Jake will always be one of the most heart-wrenching moments of my life. So many of the rocks I thought I could lean on had slipped away in the preceding months, but through all the uncertainty there had always been Jake.
“Something awakens in the heart of a dog
when he knows that he is needed.”
That line is from my holiday book, Old Dog and the Christmas Wish. Something awakened in Jake’s heart, because he knew how much I needed him at that time in my life. Despite his weakened legs, he stayed by my side long enough for me to say goodbye to my Mom, who lost her long battle with Alzheimer’s Disease, shortly before Jake himself slipped quietly out of my life.
I gave my four cats time to say goodbye to the canine hero who had found them outside and had brought them into my life all those years ago. Then I wrapped Jake in a beautiful quilt, and covered him with flowers. I inscribed my two doggie books (The Shelter Dog had not been written yet) and put them between his front paws, along with a letter I had written to him. I brought him to the place where he would be cremated. Jake had been with me from the beginning of my writing career. He had attended countless book signings, and many an adult and child had run their fingers through his incredibly thick fur. I wanted Jake and my books to be cremated together, for his magnificent spirit runs through the pages of all my books…and it always will.